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Friends or Acquaintances...

1/6/2018

26 Comments

 
The other day a post about spending "girl time" came across my Facebook feed. It was a general comment on how good it was to spend some "girl time" with friends and the importance of doing so. I let it go for a day or so but when it showed back up I commented to the effect that being in the military and moving so much it was hard to make serious friends. Plus, I tend to keep people at arm's length for a long time getting to know them.  It's something I'm working on but still, it takes time to make a true friend.

I have almost 700 "friends" on Facebook. Many of them I don't have a clue who they are...but as an author if they want to be my friend and buy a book, then I'm all for that.

A lot of them are people I've gotten to know online. And there are some  who I do consider friends in the loosest sense of the word. We comment on each other's posts occasionally, maybe wish each other happy birthday but that's about as far as it goes.

Let's say 6 are people I consider to be a "serious" friend. This is the person I could call at 2 in the morning and say "hey, my car broke down, I'm two hours from home, can you come get me?" These people (and there are honestly less than 6 but I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.) would jump out of bed, pull on clothes, and be on the way to rescue me without a second thought.  These are people who when our daughter was diagnosed with cancer, that we left our other 3 kids...one was a 2-year-old...with for over a week and we knew they were being taken care of. We could focus on the needs at hand and not worry.  And when we had to rush to the hospital in the middle of the night, they would come to our house to be with the kids so again, we didn't have to worry.

And if they needed me, I'd do the same. Drop everything and come running. It's what friends do.

There are also people who I call acquaintances. We've known each other for years. And if I called in the middle of the night needing to be rescued, they would sigh, say okay, and get there sooner or later. But...I know they'd be thinking about how inconvenient and how the timing was really bad, and wish I'd called someone else. 

Here's where I'm going. I think places such as Facebook, and MySpace, when it was relevant, cheapen friendship. Friendship takes work and when we can become "friends" with the click of a mouse button, or "unfriend" just as easy, we tend to not value those friendships.

So, if you have a friend, a true friend, one of those who'd come to the rescue no matter the time or place, without  hesitation, then let them know just how much you value them in your life. 

And take time to become friends with those acquaintances.  Friendship takes time and work but true friends are a treasure beyond measure. 

Here's a picture of Mocha and Skittles the cat sharing some friend time.
Picture
26 Comments
Gay Ingram
1/6/2018 01:01:59 pm

I have no idea what it's like to drop in on a friend unannounced for a chat or call someone and say, Let's get coffee or see a movie. For more years than I can recall, my writing contacts have filled my social needs.

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Jean
1/6/2018 01:05:02 pm

I enjoy the contacts I'm made on social media. Again, some I do consider friends. But there are definitely people I know who are called friends that truly aren't.

And I miss that personal interaction too. Friend time is good time.

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SHANE link
1/6/2018 01:21:20 pm

isn't it interesting in this social age that we have to consider these things? i had not really thought consciously about it, but all these things are true. i have tiers of friends from purely virtual to IRL (in real life) lol ok we even have a term now to help designate non virtual relationships.
it's a wild wild world

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Jean
1/6/2018 01:46:40 pm

It is an interesting thing to ponder. Definitely a wild world. :-)

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Alana Mautone link
1/6/2018 01:31:20 pm

There is a lot to think of here. I'm in my 60's so only a small part of my life has been in the social media era. I don't think I have made any of what I would call "true friends" online (the 2am car breakdown kind) but social media has also allowed me to keep in touch with true friends of many years who now live thousands of miles away. Social media has its place especially for introverts like me. But it can only do so much.

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Jean
1/6/2018 01:49:00 pm

I totally agree that the internet has made it easier to keep up with family and "friends" who aren't nearby. I have acquaintances all over the U.S. and parts of the world who I'll never meet but enjoy spending online time with. And, I have met some of them so it's really nice to be able to keep up.

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Kim Ramsey-Winkler link
1/6/2018 01:40:04 pm

I've always had a hard time making friends. Social media gives me another place where I have a hard time. But I've come to realize that *my* definition of acquaintances is what some people would consider friends, so I'm trying to redefine things.

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Jean
1/6/2018 01:51:02 pm

I have a hard time making serious friends too. I tend to keep people at a distance and that makes it even harder. I'm glad to be your acquaintance though. :-)

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Emily
1/6/2018 03:15:24 pm

I don't have a lot of people I consider close friends, and I'm good with that. People tend to make me tired after awhile...

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Jean
1/7/2018 01:19:24 pm

Dealing with people makes me tired too. I love 'em but sometimes I gotta disconnect.

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Janet Yarwood link
1/6/2018 03:23:15 pm

I love social media but those friendships will never replace true friends. I can count them on one hand but they're amazing and I know they'll always be there for me

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Jean
1/7/2018 01:20:20 pm

I have several good "social media" friends. They are special in their own way...even though we may have never met.

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Elynn Price link
1/6/2018 03:42:34 pm

I have to add to the list. There 2 more above friends, family and kindred spirit. I am currently with my family and kindred spirit in her time of need. As always even in the darkest times our relationship is light.

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Jean
1/7/2018 01:21:29 pm

What's really awesome is when you can be friends with your family. Sometimes that doesn't happen. Love spending time with the family.

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Elisa link
1/6/2018 04:37:55 pm

I hope your daughter is doing better. I work for a pediatric cancer non-profit and I understand the toll it takes on the whole family. And to manage friendships on top of that can't be easy. I'm glad you have a support system around you - even if it is a small one.

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Elisa link
1/6/2018 04:42:05 pm

If you are in need of family resources, my organization's website is AlexsLemonade.org

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Jean
1/7/2018 01:22:57 pm

She didn't make it. We did a year of chemo and a bone marrow transplant but it wasn't enough. That was years ago so treatment is better now but still... It was definitely a tough time but it has made us all stronger.

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Mary Owens link
1/6/2018 06:05:00 pm

Your dog and cat are beautiful and you make a very good point about friendships, thanks.

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Jean
1/7/2018 01:24:24 pm

Thanks. Mocha belongs to my daughter. I have Sonnet, which is half-sister. We also have other cats and they like the dogs for the most part but I have no pictures of them together.

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Gayle
1/6/2018 09:59:07 pm

I've thought many times how sad it is that the truly personal relationships in our lives have been replaced with things like a computer and cell phone where we text rather than have a verbal conversation. My son has so called friends that will only text. Where have the personal touches gone?

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Jean
1/7/2018 01:26:41 pm

I think this generation of "techy kids" are definitely missing out on personal relationships.

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Alice Gerard link
1/7/2018 01:00:50 am

I am fortunate enough to have some really good friends. They are kind, helpful, and supportive. I have all sorts of friends on facebook. They like my posts and my photographs and my paintings. Even though they are not my close friends, I appreciate their support. I also appreciate being able to communicate via computer, especially when the weather is bad and I can't go anywhere, due to lack of transportation.

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Jean
1/7/2018 01:28:29 pm

I totally agree. Our Facebook "friends" definitely have a place. And when the internet goes out or a puter dies, I'm miserable...I need my online social life. But, occasionally, I just need real, live, people...if you know what I mean. :-)

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Kemkem link
1/7/2018 03:39:21 am

My husband and l have these conversations all the time. I have had "online friends" that have become really good real life friends but for the most part, I have very few real friends that l can call in dire times and who would respond without batting an eye. Those are keepers. Love that pic :-).

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Jean
1/7/2018 01:30:08 pm

I think those "call anytime" friends are true gems. It's hard finding them and when we do, we need to let them know we value them.

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Patty Wiseman link
1/8/2018 08:36:13 am

I'm with you! Friendship is a treasured thing. It needs to be cultivated.

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    Hi, I'm Jean.

    I'm a writer, editor, cat trainer, wife, mom, partner in crime, and crazy dog lady.  

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